a mish mash of things

The last few weeks have been somewhat of a whirlwind for my family and I.  It has been such an up and down roller coaster of emotions.  I know a while ago I was posting about my weight loss and then I just quit.  I know many people wouldn’t admit that they have gained weight but through being pregnant and then losing the baby (an emotional eater that I am) I have gained about 10 pounds in the last 5 months.  It’s been very hard on me to know that I now have to lose that weight again.

Last week, after 5 weeks from losing the baby I still had to go in for the dreaded procedure that I was trying to avoid.  But, I had to.  I had complications.  I was weighed by the nurses a few times because of the anesthesia but I refused to look.  I did not want to know.  I had already felt really crappy about the way I looked and I just wasn’t ready to find out how much I had gained.  I told the nurse that I didn’t want to know and she said but your supposed to gain weight when you are pregnant. I told her it was all for nothing because I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

So…. I got on the scale two days ago and saw that I had gained 10 pounds.  Now, I’m finally to the point where I think I can start working out again.  I think.  It’s been a battle to get things done around my home and work for the last 5 weeks.  It’s been very hard to be happy.  I haven’t allowed myself to be happy or I felt guilty for being happy.

I am trying to change that now.  I am going to allow myself to be happy with out feeling guilty.  I want to work out b/c it will bring up the seratonin levels and that makes you feel better too.  I’ve been punishing myself for weeks.  I am stopping that. I can’t do that anymore.

So, I know there are tons of people out there who struggle with weight and I just want to start being open about it again.  If anyone wants to join me on a weight loss please let me know and we can help each be accountable.  I’m going to start hopefully on Monday after my trip to Ottawa.

Workshops: I know I had been hinting about some things coming up with Rock That OCF.  I have planned on doing online workshops but it has been put on the back burner through all of this.  I know many of you can’t travel to an actual workshop and I was putting together a really cool course.  My hope is to get back to working on it so we can do some.  I don’t like that I hinted about it for a long time and then just quit.  Please let me know if this interests you as well.

Ontario Workshop is this weekend.

Banff is in June

Salt Lake City is in June too.  There are still some spots to fill for the Thursday workshop. June 17th

I planned this workshop when I was pregnant.  I had 20 people sign up and then some people backed out. It’s very humbling to say it’s not totally full. So if you are interested in attending on Thursday June 17th please let me know.

I am still unsure of doing more workshops just because of everything that has happened.  I am still trying to get out of the fog.  I’ve been asked to go to a few places and I’m still thinking about it.

I will let everyone know if I decide to go forth and do more.

Michigan

Two weeks ago I was in Michigan at Lisa Ferguson’s place teaching awesome ladies!  We had horrible weather but we made do.

Here’s just one so far from the workshop.  I haven’t had much time to edit yet b/c I’m getting ready for Ottawa and trying to catch up from being off for a while.

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Lastly, I want again thank everyone for the support.  I appreciate every email and comment I received.  I don’t wish this experience on any family.  It is very devastating.  Thank you again.

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