I posted a photo a little while about with a girl on the track and I said to watch out for what I was going to talk about.  Well, I’m finally getting around to it.  It’s taken me a while to get the gusto to say what I am gonna say and put myself out there.

Here goes. I have been a bigger girl much my life.  I grew up with a very skinny mom, dad and brother. All were very nice, tall and slender and here I was at 5 feet 2 inches and have never been skinny.  I remember being teased relentlesly growing up as a kid.  I have had such a poor self esteem for so many years.  The summer before I got pregnant, my husband and I were incredibly frustrated because we had been trying to have a baby for over a year.  I went on a mission to lose weight.  I lost about 45 pounds and I was on top of the world.

Then, I literally lost 7 friends of mine due to death.  One of my closest friends ever passed away.  It was not expected at all.  It was so horrible for me to lose my friend Camille. The last time I saw her alive,  I told her that when I got down to a certain size, I would buy a skirt. If you know me, I never wear skirts or even shorts.  I am a jeans girl.  (hopefully, that will change) But, I got down to that size and I ended up wearing that skirt to Camille’s funeral.  Her death was very hard on me. She was a mom to me.  Always there.

About a month later, I finally got pregnant.  I was so sad about everything that was going on around me I was determined to be happy because we were finally pregnant.  Well, as time went on the weight crept back.  I was still trying very hard to work out but I was so sick I just couldn’t do it.  I had morning sickness up until I was almost 6 months.  Day and night. It was awful.  Then, I was put on bed rest b/c I kept having preterm labor.  So more weight.  Once I had my daughter, I was so stressed out.  So when I’m stressed I ate.  I used to smoke and drink but I realized that I didn’t want that in my life.  Anyway, I was so stressed, I used food to cope with everything.

I have crept way back up to my highest weight over the last few years and it started freaking me out.  I have been so unhappy with my body.  I know so many people are too and I know that’s why I’m writing this.

5 weeks ago I started to take charge of my life.  I’ve quit drinking pop, my yummy coffee’s from starbucks that are only 500 calories for one cup of coffee.  I have quit eating at my favorite ice cream shop.  Seriously, I never liked ice cream until Culvers came to where I was living.  I have just really started eating a lot less but more often.  I’m not doing any one program.  I am just really watching what I put in me now and how much plus I’m working out for 45 minutes a day as soon as I wake up.

I have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight.  In the 5 weeks that I’ve been doing this, I’ve lost 15 pounds so far.  I’ve always had excuses to not work out.  Oh, my daughter will never let me. I hate waking up so early, I never have time…..etc etc.

Well, enough was enough.  I got so tired of being the way I am that I have had to charge of my life.  I feel so good now.  I still have a long way to go before I reach my goal but I am so determined.

I was at a party last night and one of the gals, has lost over 50 pounds and now she is very skinny.  She looks incredible.  Her and I were talking as I was leaving last night and I was so insprired to keep going. There have been days when I just want to quit.  But, I’m going to keep on doing it and this blog is also going to help keep me be accountable.

I hope that I can help anyone who wants to lose weight too.  I am here for anyone who wants to talk about it.

So - 15 pounds so far.  I am going to keep updating as I lose this weight!  If you are friends with me on Facebook, you can see my updates! When I was in Salt Lake City, one of the ladies took a photo of me.  I think I had only lost about 7 pounds then but I was going to post the photo on here so you could see who I really am with no liquify.  Unfortunately, her camera was stolen and so was the photo of me. I will be in New Orleans this weekend and I will have one of the ladies take a photo of me and I will post it.

So please, if any of you guys want to talk about losing weight, I’m totally here.  I would love to help encourage you and help you and you can help keep me accountable as well!

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 15th, 2009 at 11:18 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.